Monday, January 13, 2014

take a walk.

am i the only want who always wants
more more more more more?
i want more freedom
i want more time
i want i want i want

but stupid girl, the world is not a wish granting factory.

in a way, there's absolutely nothing more i should want from my life
and yet, there is something
empty
like a gaping hole
a void
black and neverending
that's just there
and i just don't seem to be able to fill it

i want to be perfect
i want to be the smartest and the prettiest and the kindest
but i am neither and it makes me sick
i want i want i want

but stupid girl, the world is not a wish granting factory.


and then, i want to have
fun?
i want to be so gone from this world i can't remember my own name
i want to be in control and not be in control
controlling my uncontrollability?
i want to forget that i am not perfect
and for a short moment
i want to be okay with it.

but stupid girl,

the world is not a wish granting factory.

so i should stop wanting for things that i cannot have.

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